What a beautiful but tragic letter. The line “Grief is about the love you cannot give” is so unbelievably true. We grieve for parents who have passed, grandchildren who live in far off places, careers that no longer exist, life is full of grief but also joy for the treasures that we find within ourselves and our environment as we come to terms with that grief.
Thank-you Ann. Such a soulful response. Gosh, it worries me how I will think of all the people and important things I will lose in years to come. Best to focus on now.
The grief of this letter is deeply personal to me. In my early 20s, I was surrounded by a beautifully creative, energetic, and wayward group of musicians on Sydney's Northern Beaches. Sadly, many of them became addicted to drugs—terrible, tragic, and utterly heart-wrenching. I sat with the mothers of my boyfriends and friends in hospital waiting rooms, held their hands at funerals, and still exchange letters with them 25 years later.
As my own son grew and navigated the tumultuous teenage years, I was acutely aware of the risks—the possibility of losing him forever in an instant. I hold no judgment toward any parent, and every day I see posts from desperate, anonymous parents on social media, trying to save their children. The daily, silent anxiety of wondering, “Where are they? What are they doing now?” is all too familiar. I want to rest my hand on their back, stand beside them, and somehow be there. But the loss of child that is still living is silent lonely loss.
This is heart-breaking Suzanne. But so is the reality of estrangement when the source is an addiction. Such a hard thing for people to bear. Thank-you for contributing to this conversation.
I am sad for all the victims of drug abuse My sentiment includes those that are not abusing drugs! One thing I know is that shame fuels addiction and that society in general has a lot to answer for in this regard!
Oh, my goodness, @jane hutcheon, you knew exactly which heartstrings to pull. The Chinese (and Japanese borrowed) notion of "hungry ghosts" is so perfect a metaphor. What an incredible letter. My thanks to your remarkable Susan as well. With her incredible letter to you she'll also be helping so many others. 🙂↕️
Ice is a disgusting drug along with Fentanyl Both are highly addictive and sadly ravish users and communities alike Let's hope we don't see the later in epidemic proportions as has happened in the USA As with the Herion epidemic in the 60's and 7o's ..Drug addiction is a product of a sick society Again I believe the responsibility lies not only with individual users but it would behoove as all to look to what causes this breakdown in the societal fabric!
Thank you for sharing Linda. Such a difficult anniversary. I don’t think we can compare our tragedies and our grief. They cannot be ranked. We can only carry them with us as best as we can.
What a beautiful but tragic letter. The line “Grief is about the love you cannot give” is so unbelievably true. We grieve for parents who have passed, grandchildren who live in far off places, careers that no longer exist, life is full of grief but also joy for the treasures that we find within ourselves and our environment as we come to terms with that grief.
Indeed, I was going to call out the same moment, "grief IS about the love you cannot give." Wow. 🥺
Thank-you Ann. Such a soulful response. Gosh, it worries me how I will think of all the people and important things I will lose in years to come. Best to focus on now.
The grief of this letter is deeply personal to me. In my early 20s, I was surrounded by a beautifully creative, energetic, and wayward group of musicians on Sydney's Northern Beaches. Sadly, many of them became addicted to drugs—terrible, tragic, and utterly heart-wrenching. I sat with the mothers of my boyfriends and friends in hospital waiting rooms, held their hands at funerals, and still exchange letters with them 25 years later.
As my own son grew and navigated the tumultuous teenage years, I was acutely aware of the risks—the possibility of losing him forever in an instant. I hold no judgment toward any parent, and every day I see posts from desperate, anonymous parents on social media, trying to save their children. The daily, silent anxiety of wondering, “Where are they? What are they doing now?” is all too familiar. I want to rest my hand on their back, stand beside them, and somehow be there. But the loss of child that is still living is silent lonely loss.
This is heart-breaking Suzanne. But so is the reality of estrangement when the source is an addiction. Such a hard thing for people to bear. Thank-you for contributing to this conversation.
I am sad for all the victims of drug abuse My sentiment includes those that are not abusing drugs! One thing I know is that shame fuels addiction and that society in general has a lot to answer for in this regard!
Oh, my goodness, @jane hutcheon, you knew exactly which heartstrings to pull. The Chinese (and Japanese borrowed) notion of "hungry ghosts" is so perfect a metaphor. What an incredible letter. My thanks to your remarkable Susan as well. With her incredible letter to you she'll also be helping so many others. 🙂↕️
Thanks Barb. I have always loved the term 'hungry ghosts.'
Touching story Jane.
I rented a room near the sunshine coast university.
The real estate agent assured me the tenants were fine.
"You will hardly see them - one lives in the city and is rarely there," the agent offered.
That was the case until that one tenant returned from the city.
I returned home from the shops and there was a tatooed lady who said to me "who the f are you"?
Naturally...i said i was a tenant.
"Who are you I asked"?
"Im a f'n ice dealer and I just got out of jail" she proudly replied.
Naturally i was horrified.
The next week or so there were queues of unsavory folk at the door day and night.
My room was broken into - i had things stolen.
I reported it to the agent who muttered "oh...shes dealing again."
"Leave it with us...we will contact the police," the agent assured.
Nothing happened - the nightly clientele continued to arrive...often on large motor bikes with gang patches on their backs.
I told the real estate agent I wanted out.
She said if you want to do that without losing your bond - you must get a drs certificate explaining the situation is causing you stress.
This I did...the dr was puzzled, but understood the terror drug users inflict on the community.
Naturally, i fled the state...and a Sunshine Coast Court Google search much later revealed the tatooed lady was convicted for serious crimes.
So, I totally get where ur friend Susan is coming from in her letter to you.
Thanks for posting it Jane
😎🐱
Wow. That wasn't what I was expecting. But thank-you!
Indeed...me neither...never mind Jane...its a piece of the past worth letting go knowing i survived the gauntlet of injustice. 🙏🏾🐱🙏🏾
Ice is a disgusting drug along with Fentanyl Both are highly addictive and sadly ravish users and communities alike Let's hope we don't see the later in epidemic proportions as has happened in the USA As with the Herion epidemic in the 60's and 7o's ..Drug addiction is a product of a sick society Again I believe the responsibility lies not only with individual users but it would behoove as all to look to what causes this breakdown in the societal fabric!
Hello Jane,
Thanks for sharing this post with Projectkin
It has taken me all this time to reply as our family has just passed 39 years of losing my son, (17 yrs.) not to drugs but a motorcycle accident.
It can’t even equate to what Susan is still continuing to live every day when you don’t know where or what her son is up to other than the drug scene.
Ours is a loss but we know the sad outcome whereas Susan lives her horror daily.
May God’s peace help one day to bring closure.
Beautifully written letter ... thank you for sharing.
Thank you for sharing Linda. Such a difficult anniversary. I don’t think we can compare our tragedies and our grief. They cannot be ranked. We can only carry them with us as best as we can.